REMEMBERING CHOYCE!

 

Monday, December 7, 2020

 

REMEMBERING CHOYCE!

 

Ps 46:1-3

46 God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble.

2 Therefore will not we fear, though the earth be removed, and though the mountains be carried into the midst of the sea;

3 Though the waters thereof roar and be troubled, though the mountains shake with the swelling thereof. Selah.

 

           I met Choyce Gandy when I became the chaplain of the Vidor, Texas, police department. I entered the squad room for the first time and received a cool reception from most of the officers who viewed me as extra baggage in an already cramped cockpit. Choyce gave me a big grin and said “Come on. You can ride with me.” Thus, began a friendship that is still strong even though Choyce has now passed into heaven.

 

           Today is his birthday and Pearl Harbor Day. He was a Navy Seal during the Viet Nam war and slowly I learned that he had earned two bronze stars and as many Purple Hearts by “being in the wrong place at the wrong time.” I learned that most of Choyce was hidden inside an outer shell into which few were invited. Gradually, I was given permission to enter. Inside I saw pain, horror, guilt, and Jesus. Yes, Jesus was in there too, working feverishly at repairing the soul. I’d like to think I was part of His plan.

 

           As our friendship grew, Choyce gave me an enormous “Bowie” type knife that he had confiscated from a biker. That is all I knew about the knife until I learned its real significance at his funeral. His brother told me that it was true that the knife was confiscated, but that it had stabbed Choyce! The bullet proof vest saved his life, but the knife penetrated deep enough to draw blood. Such an artifact now has profound importance to me, and it is prominently displayed on my shelf. It is not important because of the story. It is important because Choyce never told me the story.

 

           I had a stress test before Choyce passed away and I aced it! Then I had to travel to Arkansas to conduct the funeral of this dear friend. A week later I had a follow up appointment with my cardiologist to discuss the results of the stress test. My EKG showed an irregularity. The doctor, a Christian, asked me what was going on in my life. I asked why? He showed me a glitch in the pattern that was not present a few weeks earlier. I told him I had just buried my best friend. This Christian, heart surgeon explained that there really is a “broken heart” syndrome. He said, “You deal with the grief of others so you should know how to deal with your own.” He said I should find the time and place to cry. I did.

 

Coming to terms with the loss is one of the first steps in our grief journey. Our first thought is to deny the news and hope we are imagining the whole situation. While denial is normal during the grieving process, it is important to remember that God is always there for you.

 

           Even now the tears beg for release. It is the birthday of a fallen soldier, law officer, and friend. Happy Birthday, Choyce. I sure miss riding in that clunky Crown Vic.

 

Dear Lord, many are carrying grief today. Please comfort them. AMEN